AlAnoud Writes

Am I in the right place,

At the right time, in the right space?

Am I where I wanted to be,

Or just where I was meant to see?

The uncertainty steals from my days,

Blurring the meaning in so many ways.

I changed my world, I changed my view,

But did I change what I meant to?

So many things have shifted around,

Yet something familiar remains to be found.

I changed the outside, I changed the scene,

But inside, I’m still where I’ve always been.

I’m still looking out toward the unknown,

Still searching for something I’ve never known.

I tell myself I’ve learned how to live,

Yet somehow, there’s more I need to give.

And though I have changed so much along the way,

That quiet old feeling still chooses to stay.

The truth underneath it, difficult to face:

I’m still not quite living; I’m merely in place.

And that realization weighs on me,

A sadness I never intended to see.

But can I trust what I think I feel?

Are these emotions honest, are they real?

Do I trust myself when I give feelings a name?

Or am I just searching for someone to blame?

Who is this voice that is writing tonight?

Who are you, hiding just out of sight?

I knew when I saw you, I knew right away

That wasn’t me, not even for a day.

You felt unfamiliar, distant, untrue,

And yet somehow, I recognized you.

So perhaps this isn’t where I went wrong.

Perhaps I’ve been searching for where I belong.

Perhaps every turn, every loss, every doubt

Was simply the way I had to find out.

So

Welcome back.

You’re exactly where you have to be,

Even if you’re not yet where you thought you’d be.