AlAnoud Writes

I wake into a room that already exists.

Light on the wall, pale and slow, like something that insists.

I lie still for a moment, aware of breath and skin.

No story yet. No victory. No loss. Just the quiet I’m in.

At work the world arranges itself in lines.

Emails, voices, deadlines, measured designs.

I speak in a tone that sounds like control.

I move through decisions that resemble a role.

From the outside everything holds its frame.

Inside, something watches without a name.

Am I okay?..  I ask without fear.

The question does not echo; it simply appears.

Not heavy. Not bright. Not sharply defined.

Just a steady horizon at the edge of the mind.

At home the air loosens its grip.

Shoes on the floor. Thoughts that slip.

The silence is wider. The light is low.

Time moves without needing to show.

I sit in the middle of nothing extreme.

Not a collapse. Not a dream.

This is the neutral ground I stand on tonight.

Neither shadow nor blazing light.

What is real .. the motion, the part?

Or the quiet observer behind the heart?

Zoom out.

The day becomes small and the city grows wide.

My doubts shrink down to a passing tide.

Zoom out further,  beyond street and sky.

The earth keeps turning without asking why.

And here I remain, simple and still.

Not chasing a peak. Not climbing a hill.

Just here in the center of what I can be.

Uncertain, awake, and strangely free…

Your wishes were written long before your sight,

softly inscribed in the margins of light.

Your dreams were never fragile or far,

they lived where your deepest beginnings are.

What’s meant for you does not drift or stray,

it moves with the patience of night into day.

Not lost, not delayed, not denied by fate,

only awaiting its destined state.

Time is no enemy standing above,

but a careful sculptor of strength and of love.

Shaping your spirit, steady and wise,

preparing your hands for your own sunrise.

Nothing you seek has wandered away,

nothing you hope for has faded to grey.

The journey you walk, the road you pursue,

is simply the world aligning with you.

And when it arrives, as all things do,

you’ll feel what was always silently true.

No sudden miracle, no unknown call

just the gentle knowing: it was yours all along.

Pressure is a privilege, feel it press,

It shapes your spine, it carves your yes.

It means you’re standing where it’s real,

Where dreams demand you show your steel.

Mistakes are not the mark of shame,

They’re sparks that teach you how to aim.

Don’t call them loss, don’t bow in fear

They’re feedback whispering, adjust right here.

Pay attention. Stay awake.

Be curious. Be quick to break

Old skins, old doubt, old borrowed sight

Be nimble in the changing light.

Don’t take the weight of words too deep,

Some stones are not yours to keep.

Guard your fire. Protect your view.

Never lose the dream that chose you.

Struggle isn’t something you end,

It walks beside you, foe and friend.

And freedom? No, she’s never done.

She’s not inherited, she’s won.

Earned by breath. By choice. By stand.

By steady hearts and open hands.

Each generation pays the due

To win again what once was true.

So stand. Learn. Listen. Press ahead.

Let pressure crown you, not break your head.

G- 2023

I am tired in a way that rest won’t mend,

A quiet weight with no clear end.

Not tired of work, nor tired of try,

But tired of holding what passes by.

I stand prepared, my voice held low,

Three steps ahead of what they know.

I carry more than I am named,

Give without being fully claimed.

I watch things circle, slow and near,

Titles unspoken, promises unclear.

They hover close, yet never land,

As if commitment needs a hand.

There’s anger here I do not show,

Too sharp to let, too calm to grow.

Beneath it rests a softer plea:

To be met where I already be.

I ask no praise, no grand display,

No spotlight cast upon my way.

Just simple truth, aligned and fair .. 

Let what I hold match what I bear.

I’ve been ready, long before

Readiness knocked upon the door.

And waiting now feels less like grace,

More like absence taking space.

If something binds me, let it stay,

Spoken clearly, not delayed.

If something comes, let it be known,

With a name, a shape, a tone.

Or else I’ll loosen what I hold,

Not from anger, not from cold,

But clarity that softly sees

When staying asks too much of me.

For I am done.. calm, not afraid!

Standing ready, over-stayed.

The door I wait for, I now know,

Was mine to open long ago.

I seek refuge بِرَبِّ ٱلۡفَلَقِ , the Splitter of dawn,

The ٱلنُّور tearing night where fear had drawn.

With ٱلۡمُبۡدِئ, bringing all from start,

And ٱلۡخَٰلِق knowing every hidden part .

From harm within what ٱلۡبَارِئ shaped,

From paths where even good feels scraped.

From night when ٱلۡقَابِض lets darkness close,

Till ٱلۡبَاسِط spreads what morning knows.

From whispered knots and silent breath,

Where harm is worked without a threat

But ٱللَّطِيف sees what hands conceal,

And ٱلۡحَكِيم undoes what words make real.

From envy when the heart turns tight,

Against ٱلۡوَهَّاب and gifted light.

where ٱلۡعَدۡل balance stays,

Let ٱلۡحَفِيظ guards me through all days.

I return, when all seems torn,

To ٱلسَّلَام,

to رَب الفَلَق.

قُلۡ أَعُوذُ بِرَبِّ ٱلۡفَلَقِ (1) مِن شَرِّ مَا خَلَقَ (2)وَمِن شَرِّ غَاسِقٍ إِذَا وَقَبَ (3) وَمِن شَرِّ ٱلنَّفَّٰثَٰتِ فِي ٱلۡعُقَدِ (4) وَمِن شَرِّ حَاسِدٍ إِذَا حَسَدَ (5)

I carry storms I never show,
a quiet ache that moves in slow.
Not sharp enough to make me bend,
just there.. an ache without an end.

My thoughts collide, they rush, they race,
fear and hope share the same space.
Nothing settles, nothing stays,
yet nothing breaks beneath the haze.

Excitement hums beneath my skin,
not joy, not peace.. just pulling in.
A signal soft, a subtle sign
that something here is still mine.

Worry walks a step behind,
asking questions I can’t define.
It doesn’t shout, it doesn’t plead,
it stays because it knows I care indeed.

And under all this restless sound,
a deeper stillness can be found.
Not calm from knowing how things end,
but calm that says: I’ll stand. I’ll bend.

I am sad and tangled, torn yet whole,
chaos dancing with control.
Afraid, alive, unsure, yet free..
many truths living in me.

He is with you where you stand,

in every grain of drifting sand,

in every breath your lungs command,

in every trembling, open hand.

When night falls heavy on your sight

and doubts grow louder in the night,

He walks with you beyond your fright,

a hidden, steady, faithful light.

When hearts grow tired, when hopes feel thin,

when all the wars are fought within,

He knows the scars beneath your skin,

the quiet prayers you never spin.

You don’t need words, you don’t need proof,

His mercy is your silent roof.

Above your fears, beyond your truth,

He keeps you safe, He holds you close.

In every tear you try to hide,

in every lonely step you stride,

He is the strength you keep inside,

the unseen hand right by your side.

So wherever you may go or be,

in land or loss, in joy or plea,

remember this with certainty:

He is with you … endlessly.

“وَهُوَ مَعَكُمْ أَيْنَمَا كُنتُمْ”

With hardship comes ease, with hardship comes ease,

A promise from God that softens the squeeze.

Not after the fall, not once it has passed,

But inside the moment that feels too vast.

With hardship comes ease, when nights stretch long,

When prayers feel weak and the heart feels wrong.

When doors stay closed and the path feels tight,

And hope flickers low in the quiet night.

With hardship comes ease, though tears may fall,

Not a single one wasted.. He counts them all.

What feels like an ending, a loss, a defeat,

Is the soil where tomorrow prepares its feet.

With hardship comes ease, when strength feels gone,

When you wake each day and still carry on.

You think you are buried, forgotten, unseen,

But roots grow deepest where light has not been.

With hardship comes ease, say it slow, say it true,

When the world feels heavy and so do you.

Thee has spoken, His word is enough,

No hardship outlasts the mercy of Al-Lutf.

With hardship comes ease, with hardship comes ease,

Hold tight to the promise, let your heart breathe.

﴿ فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا ۝ إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا ﴾

I made a deal with the universe once,

a very polite, well-worded plea:

“Just give me one small shiny thing,

and I’ll stop asking for three.”

A job, a title, a stamped-in-ink pass,

a proof that says you belong

Surely then all the stuck-in-between

would feel slightly less wrong.

I said, “If this arrives, I’ll relax.

I’ll stop this dramatic internal fight.”

The universe blinked, sipped its tea,

and replied, “Not tonight.”

So I paced and I bargained and over-thought,

tripped over my own desire,

Called it greed, called it weakness,

called waiting a spiritual fire.

But alignment, it turns out, isn’t sparkle or proof,

or a gold-embossed reason to smile.

It’s not putting your heart in a holding bay

with a check back later file.

It’s wanting the thing without shrinking your soul,

or tying your peace to a prize.

It’s standing upright in the middle of not yet

with both feet and open eyes.

So today I retire the bargain.

The universe can keep its delays.

I’ll hum while I wait, take up space,

and breathe like I’m already okay.

If the door swings open .. lovely.

If not, I’ll still be here.

Aligned, slightly amused,

and refusing to disappear

The night sits low,

unbothered, unhurried 

like someone who already knows

how the story ends.

A thin line of light

rests on your table,

pretending not to care

where you’re headed next.

You breathe, steady,

as if the world finally moved

at your pace

for once.

No searching,

no noise 

just the quiet understanding

that some seasons change

only when you decide they should.

And in that stillness,

everything soft you thought you’d lost

returns,

without asking for permission

In fields of green where gratitude takes flight,

Beneath a bright blue sky with clouds so white,

The sprinklers spin their rainbows in the air,

And the divine’s soft love touches us in light.

We work and yet we dance on waves of breeze,

A Sufi spin of thanks and sacred ease,

The sun’s warm touch, the whisper of the day,

In every shade of green, the heart finds peace.

So gratitude becomes a sacred rhyme,

A flowing love that meets us every time,

The divine embrace that holds us near,

In every breath, we feel the love sublime.

Sunshine drapes the morning air,

A quiet warmth, a gentle prayer.

It slips through branches, soft and pure,

A golden touch that feels secure.

But deeper still, beyond the sky,

There shines a Light that cannot die

Light upon Light, serene and true,

A guidance flowing through and through.

Not every glow is seen by sight;

Some radiance dawns within the night.

Not every path is ours to choose

For God leads to His Light whom He wills to guide,

and hearts awaken when He decides.

The sun may rise and warm the day,

But His Light shows the truer way

A flame that lifts us from the dust,

That turns our fear into quiet trust.

Where truth is sought, His Light appears,

In whispered hope or falling tears.

A calm, a spark, a voice inside

The trace of mercy none can hide.

So let the sunshine grace your face,

But seek the Light that grants all grace.

For suns may fade and stars grow dim,

But God’s own Light returns to Him.

I was a wanderer of my own dust,

lost in the alleyways of “I” and “me,”

until the Heart’s Thief came

silent as dawn,

swift as a flame through dry reeds.

We think we walk the path,

but it is the Beloved

who drags us by the soul.

I cried out,

“Come to me,

let me see You,

let me taste the wine hidden in Your sky.”

For what is love

but the ache that empties us

of all but longing?

Beloved,

You heard me.

When Your Presence arrived,

every earthly sweetness

became a broken cup.

A thousand heavens

could not contain the joy

You poured into a single breath.

Who am I?

A mirror wiped clean.

A candle whose flame

has forgotten its name.

When You entered,

I vanished.

The caller disappeared.

The call disappeared.

Only the Answer remained.

There is no “I” left

to say “I love You”

Love itself speaks now.

Beloved,

when You finally took my name,

You left no trace of me behind.

The drop returned to the Sea,

and the Sea

remembered it had always been one.

Come,

let the world fade.

Let us drown again

in the sweetness where

the Lover

and the Loved

are one.